I received the Lovely Blog Award from Ashes to Ashes so long ago she probably doesn’t even remember the day she brightened my world with her comment. And I was just nominated for a Reader’s Appreciation Award from the blogger at Drinking Tips for Teens, who is a fellow transplant to Quebec (i.e. another insane person). If I was more talented in the design department, I’d give Ashes to Ashes the “Simply Beautiful Writing Badge,” and Drinking Tips for Teens the So Funny-I-Almost-Spit-Coffee-All-Over-My-Computer award.

One day, I hope to get better at making badges and invent a shell-less pistachio.

Until then, I will regale you with random facts and nominate other bloggers for these. Them’s the badge rules.

Random Facts

1. I owe $11 to the Seattle public library.  I tried to check the books out, knowing I had a fine. “Can I still check these out?” I whispered. I expected a siren to go off and the librarian to cuff me to the desk. Nope. You can continue to read, even when you owe them money. Ahhh. Libraries. 

While we’re on the subject of books, I am currently reading “Indignation” by Philip Roth.

Spoiler alert: You find out on page 55 the narrator is dead. Upon reading page 55, I exclaimed, “You mean he’s been dead this whole time?” That’s good writing. That’s like you, dear readers finding out I am dead and writing about trips to Coastal Maine and Quebec from the great beyond. And you thought you knew me.

2. My favorite souvenirs are mugs and magnets. I don’t collect them, because that would make me “a collector” and collector is just a nice word for hoarder.

My favorite mug is from Stonehedge and my favorite magnet is of a Maine Lighthouse painted by Ed Hopper (the Nighthawks guy). I also buy shoes whenever I go abroad because shoes symbolize places a person has been. And Euro-shoes always make me seem 40% more sophisticated than I actually am.

Random well-dressed person: “Where did you get those boots?”

“Uh… London.” 

*Sigh* They have the best fashion

(I didn’t mention that a U.S. company designed the boots in question. Still… I bought them at the Camden market. That counts as cool, right?)

3. I am a nervous flyer. I love travel. But you don’t want to sit next to me on a flight. Ever since a really turbulent flight from New York to Quebec, when I fly, my stomach does trapeze acts.

If I feel the smallest bump, I will turn to you and ask if you think we’re going down.

Always say no.

Thankfully, my hands stopped shaking enough to take these ariel photographs on my last trip.

4. I am a left-handed.  Only 4% of women are left handed. Studies show being unable to work can-openers or scissors makes us more intelligent and creative. I blame it for bruises. I hit my shins on the side of my bedframe on a daily basis.

5. I hate beer. Love cider. Beer tastes like day-old dishwater to me. I have been to enough raging keggers in the day about three days ago, so don’t tell me it’s an acquired taste. Hard cider, with its fruity, bubbly goodness is the best thing to come along since ice cream on pie. I like that it makes me look like I am a beer-drinking girl without having to actually drink beer.

6. I am a feminist. Occasionally, someone asks me if I am a feminist. The answer is YES or Duh, depending on my mood. This isn’t synonymous with man hatin’. I like men. I hate that they get more opportunities because they are men. It’s easy.

7. I have had 12 jobs. At 31, I have done everything from washing dogs to working at an oddly perverse coffee counter (they only hired college-age women) to working in a basement law office (?!) to writing about lamps to copywriting to writing guidebooks.  The hardest job I ever had wasn’t the copywriting job nor the journalism job.

It’s a tie between Office Max Servant and Unwilling Coffee Wench.

It took every ounce of willpower not to scream in a customer’s face on a daily basis. Maniacs go into stores just to belittle and fluster the workers. Or in the case of Office Max, to brag about their little honor students and how superior they were to me, the lowly cashier. I felt it was my duty to inform these parents that I both graduated college AND took AP classes.

Just think: one day, little Johnny  Jasper could be ringing up hundreds of folders, like me! Maybe he doesn’t need that scientific calculator.

Spread Love, it’s the Brooklyn way

Bonus fact: I heart Biggie Smalls. I have been known to rap along with him in my car while holding a McDonald’s cheeseburger. I don’t know why this is in italics.

So I am supposed to nominate other bloggers for this reader’s appreciation award and lovely blog award.

Travel blogs and writing blogs I enjoy:

La Plume Noire. First off, I like the name because it translates to the black feather, which is the coolest name ever. Her travel photos make me extremely jealous. I love photography and am slightly obsessed wit

Hey Look a Writer Fellow He’s a legit children’s book author (Sarah Gives Thanks). He’s also calling for a boycott of celebrity children’s book. And he’s funny. And his text is bigger than mine (damn this WordPress theme).

The Time is Write Really funny stuff about everyday things, like trips to Costco and Starbucks.

If you like books, you’ll adore the Literary Man. And here I thought I read a lot. But no. The Literary Man is five-hundred books ahead. And it’s book talk without all that unnecessary, pretentious B.S. that normally comes with the territory in literary land.

Keep punching those keys everyone.