If anyone pukes on Their Royal Heighnesses during the 2011 Royal Tour, it’s going to be me. Not purposely of course.

They’re coming to Quebec City in two days and I have a media pass to cover the tour. It just hit me today that I’m going to be mere steps away from the future King of England and his new bride. I’m now envisioning getting trampled in a media stampede or being so nervous that I throw up on the Duchess.

Weeks ago, I convinced myself that they’re just people. They get food stuck in their teeth, they get gas, they have to clip their toenails just like everyone else. And today, I realized I was knee-deep in denial. They probably pay someone to file their toenails and it’s likely someone’s JOB to tell Kate if she has a huge clump of spinach in her teeth. Every move they make is scrutinized and mull-over by Monarchy worshippers around the world.

People love them. They are not celebrities. They are Royalty.

I should be nervous. This is the biggest thing I’ve ever done in my career.

I’ve fallen for Kate in my biggest girl crush since Carrie Bradshaw. She’s naturally gorgeous and barely needs a touch of make up. She can rock a tiny hat. I picture her drinking a beer behind closed doors and laughing at the absurdity of everything. Maybe even laughing at herself. She seems unfazed by all the attention, thus far.

Maybe I’m nervous she’ll be one of those “too cool” girls. The ones who would’ve dated the small town quarterback in a Lifetime movie. The one who would sneer at my outfit or call me a loser to my face. If she seems a bit mean, it will ruin my impression of her and subsquently, make it a bit difficult to write an objective article.

But what am I saying? I am quite positive that they will just breeze past me along with thousands of others. I’ll just be closer.

How appropriate is it for me, as a professional to wear a fascinator? Should I do the whole business suit with fascinator combo? Is that considered smart casual?

So many questions.