HalmCreative

November 16, 2013
by HalmCreative 2 Comments

Seattle’s First Secret Supper, All the Juicy Details

“You’re invited…to Seattle’s First Secret Supper”

Moi? Invited? To an exclusive event? I felt like the time this mean girl Lauren invited me to her 10th birthday party as a joke. It’s ok, she peaked in coolness at age 10 so I am pretty sure she went downhill and is now living in a cave or something.

The invite came from Dishcrawl, a social networking organization for food lovers with chapters all over the country. No joke, I was going to my first Secret Supper and had no idea what to expect.

Dishcrawl Seattle organizes (get this) dish battles, a Secret Supper Club, and cocktail wars, where participants sip cocktails from renowned mixologists and then vote on their favorite concoctions and who they think is hottest bartender.

It is the best way to get awkward Seattelites to sit down and socialize. During the Supper Club, you eat with strangers united for a love of food. And the chef comes out between each course to tell you his-her inspiration.

Hold up! What is a Secret Supper?

Real salmon. None of that weak farm-raised stuff.

In general, secret supper clubs and underground restaurants have been “a thing” since the 40s. Wikipedia defines it as an eating establishment run out of someone’s home to avoid zoning and health-code violations. Like a really good dinner party.

I should mention that the Dishcrawl Secret Supper takes place in a real restaurant and I am pretty certain no health codes were violated.

How can I get into such an exclusive event?

I like food, so I signed up for Dishcrawl’s email subscriber list. Julia Simpson, Dishcrawl’s Community Manager says that’s the best way to find out about Secret Supper. She also relayed that this was the first of many and they’d have about one a month. It’s not heavily advertised though and tickets are limited.

Also, words of warning: picky eaters need not apply. This is adventure dining with a special menu created for the event.

How adventurous are we talking?

The mystery locale, underground restaurant

Can’t believe this is my life.

You will likely eat something you’ve never had before. For me, it was persimmon ice cream. For others, it could be boiled crickets or monkey brains or a sheep’s head.

Ok, I don’t think they go to those extremes, but you don’t get to view the menu ahead of time. It’s all kept a great big mystery, but you are able to send in your dietary restrictions. Might be a good time to mention your “allergy” to baby animal brains.

The secret location is unveiled a day or so before and you don’t get a peek at the menu until that night. They also let you know the style of food you’ll be eating. Continue reading →

November 5, 2013
by HalmCreative 5 Comments

Going to Paris? Four Things to Know

“So… tell me all about France. I want a list of things you liked and what you didn’t.”

My sister’s boyfriend asked this as we sat around the table sharing a plate of sweet potato fries post trip. I was in a jet-lagged stupor. I didn’t sleep on the plane. I didn’t sleep in Paris. I took a plane at 4:00 pm in England and landed at 4:00 pm in Seattle. Time travel is exhausting.

When he asked me about the trip I growled, “Well, a guy whipped a beer can at me in Grenoble.”

I don’t know why I went right to the negative thing, the what-I-thought-was-funny thing. Yes, this actually happened. The Husband and I were trying to find our hotel room in Grenoble, a city in the French Alps and heard drunken ramblings from across the street.

Then a beer can collided with my leg. I yelled WHAT THE F*CK? in my big Chicago mean voice. I contemplated throwing it back, but I’m a lefty and not a very good pitcher and I didn’t really feel like being the subject of a brutal attack.

He lumbered back into whatever dive he came from. I have to mention him. Because the beer thrower (I call him Lance) is possibly the only real “rude” person we met traveling through France. And we met a lot of people.

Ok, I am 90% sure a group of girls were talking smack about me on the train, but it’s not like I was about to ask them to confirm.

Excusie-moi are you talking about moi?

I can, however, confirm this:

1. French people are not rude!

French people are not rude!

I have to say this twice because even my most worldly friends warned me that I would be hissed at for daring to bother them with French where I didn’t perfectly hit the accents. I do speak French, almost fluently, but I am pretty sure I sound like a choking goose. Most people were super patient and hospitable.

I wouldn’t call them small-town smiley, but they are not rude.

Let’s move on to Paris hotels.

2. Paris hotels are small

Cutest place ever

Yep, expect a very small room for a very big price. But you knew that.

We stayed at the Design Sorbonne, a little hotel in the 6th arondissment that looks like bien sur something right out of Amelie.

It was difficult to find, like everything in Paris. We got off the metro, and went on a thirty-minute hunt for this tiny hotel, me in a fraying t-shirt, baggy jeans, plane breath and all, piloting my suitcase around piles of dog stuff and hordes of impeccably dressed students on bicycles.

When we finally found the hotel (not its fault), it proved to be a welcome respite, a cozy hideaway where I could conceal my unsophisticated self until the bags under my eyes subsided.

If it’s your first time in Paris, do not stay near the airport the entire trip and try to train in, thinking you’ll save a few euros. Stay near what you want to see, my universal travel rule. And look into renting an apartment if you really want to save. Continue reading →

October 29, 2013
by HalmCreative 4 Comments

Paris Travel Photo Essay, Film Noir Edition

Paris is pretty.

Sure, it smells of urine in some spots and there are piles of dog merde everywhere, but I barely even noticed because there is so much pretty to take in. It is so gorgeous, I broke my rule about living through the lens and filled up my camera’s CF card the third day in.

This is the first of my Paris photo essays, the Film Noir edition, otherwise known as the day I tried to be artsy by snapping photos of statues and strangers in monochrome.

Paris travel photos

Artists and students everywhere.

Model or street sweeper?

There it is.

Montmarte.

At Le Louvre.

Paris travel photography in black and white

October 23, 2013
by HalmCreative 1 Comment

Halloween Travel: Braving the Paris Catacombs

Notice the mad organizational skills. If wonder if I could get a catacombs grave maven to organize my closet.

The scariest part of the Paris Catacombs around Halloween is the warning before you even get to the ticket booth. “Not for people with heart conditions or who have nervous dispositions.”

What do they consider a nervous disposition? I scan the sign but there’s no indication. And heart condition? A few weeks ago, after inhaling a pile of tacos, I felt like a giant was using my heart as his personal stress ball. Thump, thump, the-ump.

How embarrassing would it be if I had grabber (heart attack) in the tunnel and tried to tell one of the guides. “Je suis malade! Mon coeur, mon coeur!” (Or is it ma coeur?)…

Madam. Did you not read the signs?

These chicly dressed guides I envision laugh at my pronunciation and shovel my corpse on top of a bone wall as a warning for thoughtless tourists and travellers who dare go into the catacombs with occasional bouts of heartburn.

“Do you think you could handle this?” The Husband points to the sign making my already-nervous disposition grow ever more … nervous.

“Shoot, I don’t know. Once, I cried at a haunted house, until the clown took off his mask to show me he was a normal guy. Only he had no teeth. I started screaming and we had to be escorted out.”

“But that was when you were a kid.”
“That was two years ago.”

I mentally list all the Totally BadAss Things I survived, excluding haunted houses. Trapeze. Cliff diving. White water rafting. A high school that could have been the setting for Dangerous Minds: metal detectors, roaches, knife-wielding teenagers and all. Like I said, Total BadAss.

A badass who just happens to have a nervous disposition. Continue reading →

October 17, 2013
by HalmCreative 19 Comments

Bad Behavior at the Louvre

There’s so much to tell you all about my travels in Paris. The lights stretching over the inky black Seine, the oh-so fashionable Parisians, the bookstores, the bakeries.

But before I write my photo narratives and list of Studs and Duds, I want to discuss a disturbing new social development: the need to compulsively take photos of art. Or I suppose on a bigger scale, our need to document and share everything.

A few days before I left for Paris, I watched Exit Through the Gift Shop, a multi-layer mockumentary about street art, directed by Banksy, that dude all your hipster friends are so into.

The movie tells the story of Theirry Guetta who films every waking moment of his life, from banal trips to the grocery store to his baby’s first steps. He eventually turns his focus to his cousin “Invader,” a street artist who creates these space invader mosaics:

Invader introduces Thierry to all kinds of street artists. He becomes what Hunter Thompson was to the Hells Angels—an insider, able to access what others cannot. Mid-film (*spoiler alert*) the audience realizes that Thierry isn’t a filmmaker; he’s mentally ill, a hoarder of footage because his mom died when he was a kid and he’s afraid of missing moments. He has great footage, but makes an unusable film.

He reminds me of myself and my own compulsive need to document everything. But it’s not just me. It’s a lot of us. And I don’t even have a smartphone.

Exit Through the Gift Shop stayed fresh in my mind when I went to Paris. I spent hours in the Pompidou, the Louvre, the Dali museum, and then another day with my bros vanGogh and Gougin at Musee d’Orsay.

Saw lots of world-famous art, paintings and sculptures my art teacher told me I would never see.

That’s me and Dali’s minotaur. I didn’t realize he was patting my head.

That was cool.

This was not.

The Mona Lisa through a wall of iPhones & iPads

Long lines of people at the Louvre taking photo after photo, not waiting more than a minute to absorb the work. At the Mona Lisa, I had to stand on my toes to glance over the wall of raised iPads and iPhones. The band of zombies clicked away like we were on a safari and an elephant emerged from the brush.

Why are we in such a rush to snap, share, and go?

Is it because we’re all walking around with mini-computers and it’s so convenient and so irresistible? Or like Thierry, are we afraid of missing something? Continue reading →

October 3, 2013
by HalmCreative 2 Comments

Visiting a Vineyard & Drinking it all in

First of all, this is my 100th travel blog post. Thanks everyone for likes, comments, support. This is part two of Driving through the Storm.

My fascination with vineyards

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Ever since Sideways and “Brothers & Sisters,” I have been dreaming about running to the hills and operating a vineyard. I would give my wine a humorous name, like Miller White or Peanut Grigio. Or a pretty French name: papillon nuit, which translates to night butterfly, or as we like to call it: moth.

I traveled to the Yakima region to find out what running a vineyard in Washington would be like.

Turns out, vineyard is just a fancy word for farm. And farm is just a fancy word for a whole lot o’ work.

If she could speak, my oxygen-deprived, on-her-last-stems, comatose houseplant Gertrude would tell you I am not a plant person. I can’t keep her alive, there’s no way I could handle a vineyard or an orchard or even a single row of tomato plants.

And one slight frost could take out a whole crop.

Luckily, I learned the upcoming year for Washington wines is going to be bright. Summer weather conditions were ideal for grapes, so that means more local wine for us. Continue reading →

October 1, 2013
by HalmCreative 3 Comments

The Perfect Storm, Part 1: Driving Through the Rain

This past week, it poured, literally and figuratively. My apartment, my life, my pillow, all soaked. As I write this, the rain keeps coming, no signs of slowing.

Multiple rounds of bad news made me want to stay in my room under my cozy comforter, the Dog curled in tight. But a blanket is no armor. And though I want nothing more than to get on a plane and see my family, I can’t.

This is the biggest drawback of my life 2,018 miles away from my nearest and dearest—there’s no teleportation, no easy way. I have to face the sting of regret when time slips through my hands like a rope. I have to confront the fact that I have missed a lot of birthday cakes and memorials and piano recitals, a lot of moments I really “should of” been there, but couldn’t be.

Damn you entropy!

But forget the storm for a moment. Let’s travel beyond it and into the Yakima Valley.

Yakima Valley Travel

Moving to the country, going to eat a lot of peaches.

There’s a vast desert past the heavy drape of clouds. The topography changes suddenly, just past the ridge. Shrubs, sagebrush, and balsam roots replace leaning firs. Dijon-colored hills roll against a slate sky. Washington is nicknamed the Evergreen State, but the Yakima valley is all gold. Continue reading →

September 24, 2013
by HalmCreative 2 Comments

Travel Pictures: Put a Bird on It

You know what turns a boring, mediocre travel photo into something beautiful? A bird. It doesn’t even have to be a rare bird, a scrappy seagull or downtrodden pigeon can make your travel pictures stunning.

Below is a travel photo narrative of bird photo bombs.

Elsinore.

Denmark.

London.

Seattle

South Dakota, Badlands

In Quebec, near the river

B.C. Birds (Victoria)

Victoria, China Beach

Travel photography tips

My number one travel photography tip: the best photographs happen by mistake.

I learned this while walking through London in shoes that pinched my feet. The clouds parted and a rainbow arched over the city. Freakin’ magical. I turned all the way around on a crowded street, snapped off a few pictures of the rainbow.

The he man behind me asks, “Blimey, don’t they have rainbows where you’re from?” his lips curled in an I-Hate-Tourists sneer. He looked so mad, I feared he would reach out and smash my camera. I felt like the biggest rube. There I was in my holy jeans and stupid shoes with a giant camera strapped to my neck getting called out by a real Londoner.

But it was worth it because I got a bunch of really great photos of a rainbow over London, including the one above with the bird flying across the square. My point is this: take a lot of photos. Don’t live through the lens, be in the present moment, but be ready to snap away the moment a great scene reveals itself.

September 19, 2013
by HalmCreative 14 Comments

Adventures in Freelance Writing

This makes it worth it. Kind of.

So…we meet again, home office.

I’ve come back to freelance writing and travel writing after finishing up my long-term contract in a mega corporation. I know a lot of very talented writers and bloggers who long to do the same thing. I don’t know if it’s the right choice for you, but I think it’s right for me. For now.

This blog could document my downward spiral from very gainfully employed writer to That Peddler in the Parking Lot Who Writes The Best Cardboard Signs. Here are some things I’ve learned along the way.

Freelance writing tips:

Very little time will be spent writing. Most of it will be spent checking email and refreshing it again and again to see if those query letters and job applications you sent out got a response. Nope. Just another email newsletter advertising Socktober Fest. All those socks. All on sale…

You need to know… math. Oh yeah, we writers think we’re all cute and funny and stuff when we can’t calculate tips or do taxes because we’re “word nerds.” But as a freelancer, you need to know some basic business calculations figure out if you’re making more or less than you would if you collected cans for a living. This is an essential skill.

That’s why writers make such miserable salaries. The Man thinks we can’t do math.

Your new exercise = pacing. The last time I worked as a freelancer I lost about 10 pounds in a matter of weeks. Friends asked why I looked so svelte. It wasn’t a change in my dietary habits—certainly, I inhaled a few less donuts. But my magical weight loss was due to my pacing around the room whenever I faced a looming deadline.

You will need to improve your social skills. I have the social graces of a T-Rex. I am clumsy, loud, and thanks to Invisilign, might spit when I talk.

Days go by where I don’t see humans. So when I meet a prospective client for lunch, I have to remind myself that she’s not my therapist and now is probably not an appropriate time to talk about last night’s dream where I wore a purple tri-cornered hat onto the bus and everyone laughed at me.

Your 9-5 friends will scare the crap out of you. Things not to say to a freelance writer:

-You may never work for “real” again.

-You’re doing what? IN THIS ECONOMY?!

-Why couldn’t you make it as a real writer?

Just avoid phrases that can be punctuated with an interabang.

Did you ever quit a job to follow your passion? Do you freelance? Ring in with tips below.

September 12, 2013
by HalmCreative 2 Comments

12 Things I’ve Learned from ‘Things I’ve Learned’ Lists

That’s an old pic of younger me. Things I’ve Learned: Be a fearless badass.

It was last Saturday, noonish. I sat in my Juicy Couture sweats from waay back and did the same thing I always do. Checked the same travel blogs, the same Twitter. And what to my eyes should appear?

Lists! Fascinating lists filled with profound revelations and advice. I got lost in a Things I’ve Learned labyrinth starting with Dave Berry ‘s 25 Things List I Learned in 50 Years and ending with this Things I Learned from Closing a Bookstore.

Inspired, I penned my own.

The Ultimate ‘Things I Learned’ List

1. You’re never too young to create a Things I Learned List. The world’s youngest blogger, a 6-month old wrote Things I’ve Learned One Month Out of the Womb. He had a lot of advice about naps and teething rings.

2. Bloggers who should be creating Things I Learned lists aren’t.

25 Things I Learned After Fighting a Grizzly Bear
25 Things I Learned When I Discovered Popcorn
25 Things I Learned Working for Abraham Lincoln

3. The paragraph is endangered. Continue reading →

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