A rant seems slightly incongruent to my last post about Mad Men’s Lane Pryce, suicide and happiness. But passive-agressively ranting about stupid things is so much fun. Please comment with what’s annoying you today.
8 Annoying New Things:
8. The Term Porn when not applied to Pornography
You think you’re clever by referring to that bowl of soggy macaroni as, ” Food Porn” but it’s not. It’s dirty. It takes the innocence right out of those little elbow noodles. And I will always associate the word porn with pornography, even though yes, Dictionary.com confirms it is a correct way to use the term.
But screw Dictionary.com. No one in their right mind truly lusts over a turkey sandwich – even if it has bacon.
7. Travel Bloggers Holding Wine Glasses
If you look at travel blogs enough, you should count how many people hold a glass of wine (by the stem) and stare off into the distance as if they’re dreaming about some far-off land. Congrats: you’re a cliche. And no, wine is not more appropriate for a blog headshot than beer.
I should change my avatar to me lapping up the pool of milk leftover in my cereal bowl.
6. Creatives on The Pitch
I both love and despise The Pitch. I love how every agency creative wears the same vertically striped button down. Or then there’s the guy who’s too creative, the one with half his head shaved, a sleeve, and lip piercing. You know: the one with all the ideas. The best part is when one of these creatives pitches an idea and it’s met with an eerie silence that expresses disapproval, disappointment, and disgust.
Then there’s the fluttering post-its on the walls with scribbled taglines that make absolutely no sense.
Memorize this tagline formula and you could be on “The Pitch:”
____ Plus ____ = _____
One ___ will change ____
5. Job Descriptions that Mention Non-Existant Office Dogs
When did this become a thing? I adore my dog. I even adore office dogs. But just because you’re a startup, doesn’t mean you have to be cool with canines. I want an office full of monkeys and hedgehogs and sugar gliders. And cobras, specifically in the HR department. A barking dog and pee-stained hardwood floor does not say professional to your investors and clients. Continue reading